Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
