if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
