Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize
