All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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