I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
