is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
