I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
