TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So vagazzling was a success
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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