No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
