Can Purell be used as lube?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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