My room smells like vodka and shame
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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