Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize