This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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