Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
