small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
