i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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