her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
