so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Randomize
