I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He better not be in your backpack
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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