Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
