I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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