I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
