Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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