We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
