there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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