question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
