Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
