I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
