I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
