oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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