I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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