the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Randomize
