At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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