Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
