I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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