Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
