If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
we're so committed to being not committed
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
