my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
