WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
