He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
