I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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