Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize