What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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