...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
