In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
