He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
