every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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