You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
