You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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