Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize