that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
