I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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