I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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