Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Randomize
