You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
