I think I am morally bankrupt
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
