So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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