Just fell off a train. Bad.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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